I spent most of my teens and early 20s hating myself. I didn’t believe I was worthy of love. I didn’t think I was pretty enough, I didn’t feel I fitted in, and felt lucky, and grateful, if any boy looked at me twice.
As I got older, my confidence improved slightly but I spent my late twenties and most of my thirties in a perpetual cycle of staying in relationships that were no good for me because I was either so grateful that someone wanted to be with me (however badly they treated me) or thinking that, if I left, I would never find anyone else; getting dumped because I was too needy; or desperately trying to get men to fall in love me (unrequited love is agony!).
I declared myself ‘unlucky in love’ and blamed men for my bad experiences, but it was only on my journey to becoming a counsellor that I discovered that it was how I felt about myself that was affecting my quest for love so badly.
After working on my self-esteem, and painfully honest examinations of how I approached relationships, I’m now in long-term relationship with someone who loves me for who I am. No more playing games, employing tactics, or overthinking. I’m finally free to just be myself!
Phew! How’s that for brutal honesty?!
I’m sharing that with you because I want you to know that there is no shame in opening up about experiences, even if it might not paint you in a good light, initially (I cringe when I think back on all the ‘mistakes’ I made!), but by having the courage to own your own truth, it frees you up to moving forward in a more positive direction.
In my quest for love, I’ve been on that rocky path that you are currently travelling and, although our experiences will be different, I understand how agonising a walk it can be, especially when you feel like you’re not getting anywhere.
In this ‘Find Love Through Therapy’ blog, my aim to cover lots of different topics around how you feel about yourself, your attitudes towards love and relationships, and various issues that can keep you stuck, and how these can affect your quest to find your perfect partner.
And if there is any topic in particular you’d like me to cover, then leave a comment or drop me line via my Contact Me page.
Until next time…